Poetry Is A Feeling, An Art, A Moment of Inspiration

I wish that I was still like 10th grade me

Who stared down proudly at the sheet of paper before her in Health class

She had taken a self esteem test

And she had the highest score in the class

 

Guess it didn’t last

Maybe those were my glory moments

When I wore confidence as my crown

And walked surely down every path

 

When I grabbed opportunity by the hand

And danced with it daringly

I never looked at the edge

Of the cliff beside me

 

Now, I’m afraid

Of what stands before me

And, I’m surprised

Because it’s my own reflection

 

They say fear holds you back from taking risks

But, I’d say I hold myself back as well

The monster I thought I had trampled long ago

Is back again with sharpened claws

 

Fear is haunting my steps now

Filling me with doubt of my capabilities

Am I really that good?

Can I truly do it?

 

I hold back the tears

And fight against those thoughts in my mind

There is a storm within me

And, I am trapped right in the eye

 

I’ve found myself at the edge of the cliff again

And I swing my feet

Worried about the drop

But even more terrified of what will happen if I don’t take it

 

No, I’m not considering suicide

My life is too precious for that and so is everyone else’s

I’ve lived too hard to give it up now

I don’t want to disappoint

 

That star-eyed me from the past

Who looked into the future

And whispered to herself

“One day I’ll get there”.

 

And I’ll make it perfect.

My lips can form the words

But, I haven’t said them yet

I am a girl on a mission

 

To change myself and the world around me

I declared myself an activist from a young age

I was so certain I could do it

Now, it’s time for me to face myself

 

Every battle has its victor

But, I wouldn’t be able to handle the gore

So, I step away and set my weapons down

I will be at peace with myself

 

I stand up and stare out into the vast distance before me

It is so far away and so very very big

I can’t see the end from here

But, I’m willing to take the steps towards it

 

• I paused and thought about my condition. My heart beats with purpose. I will not give up.