ADMIT IT: YOU ARE A FANGIRL/FANBOY (+ EMBARRASSING CONFESSIONS OF A FANGIRL)

I like to tell the truth. I’d like to believe that I’m good at it by now, having spent years wrapping my lies up in nice little boxes and tying them up with a bow as a finishing touch.

Something I won’t ever lie about is that I’m a major fangirl. I mean, if you couldn’t tell from my extremely loud voice squealing at the top of my lungs sometime after even the night has gone to sleep, then you’re getting it all now.

I’m going to admit I’ve done some pretty ridiculous things as a fangirl, not including climbing on a broom and running around my living room screaming, “Winggardium Leviosa!” and, “Accio, books!”. I’m pretty sure that’s a childhood thing every kid does after they read the Harry Potter books. 

And, I see you shaking your head and pretending you’ve never done anything worse than that. I see you, fangirl/fanboy. I SEE YOU!

So, continue reading and watch the truth that you’ve been trying to hide for your entire life spill out right before your eyes. You’re welcome, by the way, for the embarrassing moments.

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ME AFTER I WRITE THIS POST AND REALIZE I’VE LET THE ENTIRE INTERNET SEE MY TRUE FANGIRL CRAZY. #NOSHAMETHO

You try to hide your fangirl/fanboy when you’re in public. And sometimes, it slips out by accident.

  • Apparently, it’s weird to make inhumane noises in public?!
  • And flail like you’re crazy?!?
  • And run around in circles and jump up and down?!?
  • All over a book!!
  • WHEN YOU GET THE FEELS
  • AND YOU JUST START SMILING AT YOUR PHONE
  • OR YOUR BOOK
  • AND YOU JUST TRY TO CONTAIN
  • THE ALIHGOLAIBGLAGBPAISG INSIDE YOU
  • BUT, YOU JUST CAN’T

I mean, normal people, YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON THE FAN LIFE! COME JOIN US! WE SHALL ALL BE INSANE TOGETHER! I PROMISE THAT THINGS WILL WORK OUT!

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GUYS, IF YOU EVER WONDER WHAT I LOOK LIKE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU IMAGINE, I WILL ALWAYS BE DOING THIS

You can fangirl/fanboy ANYWHERE and ANYTIME.

  • While scrolling through Pinterest and you see that Six of Crows aesthetic or quote
  • While walking outside
  • While eating
  • While at school
  • While at the grocery store
  • WHILE READING
  • While having a conversation
  • This usually leads to you blanking out and realizing that your daydreaming is SO much more interesting than whatever the other people are saying
  • WHILE BREATHING
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LEGIT ME AT SCHOOL EVERYDAY. THE GUY IN THE BACK IS MY FRIENDS FACES WHILE I FANGIRL

You are forced to question your sanity when you fangirl/fanboy too hard

  • FLAIL
  • FLAP
  • TWITCH
  • SCREAM
  • SQUEAL
  • INHUMANE NOISES THAT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE GETTING MURDERED
  • INCOHERENT WORDS AND CONSTANT REPEATING OF BOOK TITLES OR QUOTES OR NAMES
  • DGOAIBGLJIABDGLJABGLADL!!!!!!!!!!!
  • OOPS, YOU BROKE THE KEYBOARD AGAIN

Story: Ok, this happened just yesterday: I watched some clips from Divergent and the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner. Then, I watched the Ocean 8 trailer and I’m currently in this Leigh Bardguo obsession, so I watched, like, all the interviews she had for the past couple years, as far back as since the Grisha Trilogy came out, and I saw that Six of Crows was inspired in part by Ocean’s Eleven. I STARTED FLAPPING LIKE A BIRD AND MAKING THE INHUMANE NOISES.

Meanwhile, my sister was sitting UNFAZED on the couch. GUYS, MY FAMILY IS USED TO THIS. And, I was just flapping for, like, 5 minutes, and my sister, WITHOUT LOOKING UP FROM HER LAPTOP, just said, “You need to stop before the neighbors come out”.

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HIGH PITCHED PTERODACTYL SCREECHING

It physically hurts you because the fictional characters you love don’t really exist

  • Whyyyyy?
  • We’re still getting married!
  • I WILL BECOME A SCIENTIST!
  • I NEED TO INVENT THE MACHINE THAT MAKES THEM REAL!
  • NO REAL PERSON COULD BE LIKE MY CHILD
  • THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
  • MY OTHER HALF
  • BOUGHT THE BOOK SO I COULD HUG IT TO SLEEP
  • I’M DEFINITELY PRETENDING THAT IT’S REAL
  • I’M MOVING TO HOGWARTS, 50 years too late, but I’m still going
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ME @ KAZ BREKKER. YES, I’M STILL NOT OVER HIM. WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR THE INSANE ONES?

When people insult your favorite FANDOM/ BOOK/ TV SHOW and they think they’ll get away with it

  • HOLD ON
  • LET ME GRAB MY PITCHFORK
  • MORTAL FOOL
  • YOU MUNDANE
  • I DON’T CARE FOR THE FALSE STATEMENTS OF MUGGLES
  • UH, IS SOMEONE TALKING TO ME?
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I SAY THIS A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK.

Your phone auto-corrects CAPITALIZED words from all your fangirling/fanboying

  • Admit it, YOU KNOW THAT IT’S TRUE
  • WHEN YOU’RE FANGIRLING WITH A FRIEND
  • AND YOU JUST
  • ASGOHABGKLIABGLKABGLKAHGLIFAS
  • OR, YOU GET SUPER EXCITED
  • AND, WRITE IN CAPITAL FOR NO REASON
  • So, now your phone knows you’re a fangirl/fanboy
  • WE HAVE A WITNESS

 


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CHAT WITH ME!

I dare you to confess your most hilarious fangirl/fanboy secret! 

HAN DEVOURED SOME BOOKS ( A.K.A REVIEWS AND AWKWARD FLAILING)

So, I deserve a parade for keeping up with my GR challenge. Also, chocolate cake! Now, I’m hungry as usual. SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME CAKE!

A-HA, IN YOUR FACE, PESSIMISTIC PAST SELF! I’M BACK ON TRACK, BABY!!

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Ms.Marvel

Synopsis: 

Kamala Khan is an ordinary girl from Jersey City — until she’s suddenly empowered with extraordinary gifts. But who truly is the new Ms. Marvel? Teenager? Muslim? Inhuman? Find out as she takes the Marvel Universe by storm! When Kamala discovers the dangers of her newfound powers, she unlocks a secret behind them, as well. Is Kamala ready to wield these immense new gifts? Or will the weight of the legacy before her be too much to bear? Kamala has no idea, either. But she’s comin’ for you, Jersey! 

THOUGHTS

  • MUSLIM MAIN CHARACTER!!! I’ve wanted to read this for so long, but I only got to it now, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT! I love Kamala and I honestly see her struggle of trying to fit in as a Muslim teen. #RELATEABLE
  • THE COMICS!! The pictures were a blessing to my eyes and I live for reading graphic novels so reading this was AWESOME!!
  • AN ARRAY OF CHARACTERS!! Kamala had a guy best friend as well as a Muslim best friend (WHO WEARS HIJAB!!) She also met these interesting other characters which I know better than to spoil for you
  • ALL IN ALL, THIS WAS DELICIOUS AND I DEFINITELY CAN’T WAIT TO READ MORE!
  • FIVE STARS!!

The Girl Who Drank The Moon

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Synopsis: 

Every year, the people of the Protectorate leave a baby as an offering to the witch who lives in the forest. They hope this sacrifice will keep her from terrorizing their town. But the witch in the forest, Xan, is kind and gentle. She shares her home with a wise Swamp Monster named Glerk and a Perfectly Tiny Dragon, Fyrian. Xan rescues the abandoned children and delivers them to welcoming families on the other side of the forest, nourishing the babies with starlight on the journey. 

One year, Xan accidentally feeds a baby moonlight instead of starlight, filling the ordinary child with extraordinary magic. Xan decides she must raise this enmagicked girl, whom she calls Luna, as her own. To keep young Luna safe from her own unwieldy power, Xan locks her magic deep inside her. When Luna approaches her thirteenth birthday, her magic begins to emerge on schedule — but Xan is far away. Meanwhile, a young man from the Protectorate is determined to free his people by killing the witch. Soon, it is up to Luna to protect those who have protected her — even if it means the end of the loving, safe world she’s always known.

THOUGHTS

  • MAGIC EVERYWHERE! The amount of magic in this book is legit! I felt like a fairy!! A POTATO FAIRY WHO CAN FLY!
  • MAGICAL CHARACTERS! There’s a poetic swamp monster, a little adorable dragon, an old lady witch, etc. The characters are absolutely lovely! Including the madwoman trapped in the tower. 
  • THE WRITING!! Kelly Barnhill’s writing has it’s own magic to it. The rhythm of the story pulled me in ♥
  • WHIMSICAL!! It reads like a fairytale and I have this obsession with fairytales so this was great!
  • MIDDLE GRADE! Despite this being a middle grade, I still really enjoyed it. Honestly, it didn’t feel much like a MG, but it is which is fine by me because it was delicious. 
  • FIVE STARS! MAGICAL LITTLE GIRLS!

I Believe In A Thing Called Love

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Synopsis: 

Desi Lee believes anything is possible if you have a plan. That’s how she became student body president. Varsity soccer star. And it’s how she’ll get into Stanford. But—she’s never had a boyfriend. In fact, she’s a disaster in romance, a clumsy, stammering humiliation magnet whose botched attempts at flirting have become legendary with her friends. So when the hottest human specimen to have ever lived walks into her life one day, Desi decides to tackle her flirting failures with the same zest she’s applied to everything else in her life. She finds guidance in the Korean dramas her father has been obsessively watching for years—where the hapless heroine always seems to end up in the arms of her true love by episode ten. It’s a simple formula, and Desi is a quick study. Armed with her “K Drama Steps to True Love,” Desi goes after the moody, elusive artist Luca Drakos—and boat rescues, love triangles, and staged car crashes ensue. But when the fun and games turn to true feels, Desi finds out that real love is about way more than just drama.

THOUGHTS

  • THE LEVEL OF AWKWARDNESS makes me so very pleased with Desi. I mean, even I couldn’t have snorted my boogers onto my crush’s shirt when he was about to ask me out. I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE COULD BE SOMEONE MORE AWKWARD THAN ME!
  • DESI LEE!! She’s a relateable tomato, except I’m not as brave as she is. I love how stubborn she is and her determination is inspirational, haha. Now, I know what list to follow to get me my crush!!
  • LUKE DRAKOS! He seems like your classic hot guy in YA, but HE HAS PIMPLES AND A HONKING LAUGH AND I SHIP EVERYTHING PLUS THE MOON WITH DESI AND HIM!
  • FRIENDSHIP! Her friends think she’s INSANE. But, they helped her stage a fake car accident. #PARTNERSINCRIME!!!
  • KOREAN DRAMAS!! I got addicted when I was in 7th grade and I have still not recovered. SOMEONE HOLD ME, PLEASE!! This book hit me right in the KDrama feels and thus, I started watching She Was Pretty (which is hilarious btw, and more awkwardness ensues. It’s great)
  • HER DAD! Broken English and great parenting skills. Other YA parents need to learn from him *looking at you, Van Eck*
  • OVERALL, FULL OF HONKING LAUGHS FROM YOU AND SQUEALING OVER DESI AND LUKE AND SWEATPANTS THAT FALL OFF ON THEIR OWN (A.K.A HAN IS DEAD LAUGHING)
  • GO READ IT! YOU’LL LOVE ME FOR IT! 
  • RE-READ. Like, huh? I barely re-read anything, but this funny book was good for me now because the majority of the books on my TBR are depressing and emotional traumatic *glances at Our Dark Duet*
  • FIVE STARS! The KDrama inspiration and the awkwardness did it for me 

The Girl From The Other Side

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Synopsis: 

Once upon a time…

In a land far away, there were two kingdoms: the Outside, where twisted beasts roamed that could curse with a touch, and the Inside, where humans lived in safety and peace. The girl and the beast should never have met, but when they do, a quiet fairytale begins. 

This is a story of two people–one human, one inhuman–who linger in the hazy twilight that separates night from day

THOUGHTS

  • CREEPY VIBES!! Look at that cover!! I ALREADY LOVED IT!!
  • THE OUTSIDER!! Uhhm, I love him. I feel bad about what he has to do. Also, HE GOT SHOT WITH LIKE 10+ ARROWS AND HE PULLED THEM OUT OF HIS BACK LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS??!! 
  • SHORT READ!! So, you have no time to read? *SHOVES THIS INTO YOUR HANDS*
  • SHIVA!! The little girl is adorable and I feel so bad for her. You should read it to find out what I mean 😦
  • MANGA!! I thought it was just a weird, little graphic novel but it’s apparently a manga that’s originally from Japan. SO GLAD THEY TRANSLATED IT INTO ENGLISH!
  • FIVE STARS! I put it back in my closet because I was afraid to sleep with it next to me. That cover gives me shivers, ok?

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CHAT WITH ME

What have you read so far? Have you read any of these? DO YOU WANT TO FANGIRL WITH ME OVER THEM?!?

I ANSWER MANY WRITING QUESTIONS AND FLAIL LIKE NO-ONE’S WATCHING

 

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Today, I am here to give you some logical answers that ACTUALLY MAKE SOME AMOUNT OF SENSE. Yes, I am capable of doing that, stop looking so surprised.

 

I will be answering some questions that I’m filching from PaperFury who filched from @mrhodimer and @simmeringmind from Twitter

(I do love this word as well, Cait)


 

What genre do you mainly write in? What’s one that you’d like to try that you haven’t yet, or one you’ve never bothered with?

I mainly wrote Contemporary when I first started writing. Right now, however, I write Fantasy as well.

I’d definitely want to try out Magic Realism. All the books I’ve read in that genre have been AH-MAZING and I loved them, so I definitely want to see where I can take it.

In your current WIP, or in your book that you’ve just finished, what are your main character’s names? How did you pick them?

My character’s names are Kenova, Salsa, Neema, and Omi. I honestly called two of my characters Bae and Babe for the majority of a year because I couldn’t find a name that really fit them. I used baby name websites, but I also found names in books I was reading.

My advice for finding the right names for your babies is to take your time. Eventually, the most perfect name will come along and you can finally build that shrine. Because, obviously, who builds a shrine without having clarifications of who exactly it’s for?

If you were made to write a historical novel (whether it be fantasy, or generic or scific), what era wold you place it in?

I would probably pick some time during the Industrial Revolution or the time when Czars still existed in Russia because I love the steampunk feeling I get from writing books with machinery and I absolutely love writing scenes in places with winter settings.

If you had to write a book placed in the future, what invention would finally exist in your world?

An invention that would definitely exist if I were to write a futuristic book would be a machine that could turn fictional characters into real people so that I could get to know the Dregs personally, especially Kaz Brekker. 

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Tell me about your current project!

My current project is a Young Adult Fantasy with a ghost, a mutant, a rebel, and a soldier who are forced to work together to bring down a man who is becoming a tyrant.

Do you have a CP/ beta reader/ alpha reader?

Nope. I just don’t feel comfortable letting people read the stuff I write because I write really strange things. However, since I’m entering a contest, I’ll be searching for some beta readers to give me feedback before I send in my story.

What number book is this? For instance, is it the first book you’ve ever written, or your tenth, because words just won’t stop pouring out of you?

This is my first book and I am absolutely in love with it. To the point where I just flail for half an hour in the living room because I just can’t.

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Any writer reference books that you think changed how you think about writing?

I haven’t actually ever read physical books with writing advice, but websites like NowNovel and InkandQuills and well-storied.com have been absolutely AWESOME and a total inspiration for my writing journey, especially before NaNoWriMo.

Who do you write for?

I write for myself.

I don’t really care if someone else wants something from my story. I’m writing what I want to read so I’m writing relate-able characters, meaning my character who wears a hijab (and can still kick your butt and roast you excellently at the same time) and characters who don’t belong or are outcast-ed because it’s just something I deal with.

Has this WIP made you cry?

No, because I am a heartless potato.

I mean, it should?!?

It deals with tough subjects, like little ghost boys losing their minds, a girl who lost her innocence unwilling and now does the only thing to survive and those things are pretty terrible, not to mention that my characters lose their family members constantly and everybody might end up dead at the end of the first book, NO LIE!

How is writing this WIP brave?

Because I am representing a Muslim female and I don’t want to mess it up. It’s also my first book and I love my characters so much and everything hurts. Nanowrimo almost killed me, but I made it through. I think that was pretty brave. I also might enter this WIP into a writing contest, so if I manage to do that, I’d say I’m VALIANT, BABY!

And, the last question: What is your main writing goal this year?

My main writing goal this year is to write and rewrite this book to perfection. I want to put my all into it and produce a finished copy that I’m proud of and would allow others to read.


I AM ENTERING A WRITING CONTEST?!

Yes, I can hear you guys yelling at me from the computer screen as to why the heck I’m trying to juggle the world and the six moons but I have no other answer but to sigh and flail because I have no control over my brain anymore.

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So, in October, I was at the public library and I found out that it was hosting a writing contest. I was so excited to write for Nano and I picked up the information sheet with the full intention to enter my book after I finished writing it. 

Well, things kinda went awry. First off, my Nano novel didn’t end up going the way that I wanted it to. Second off, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that I’m letting people read that horrible “first” draft. 

However, the contest is for novellas with minimum word count of 20k and maximum word count of 50k. So, I spent the evening doing research on novellas and I’ve decided that I want to write a backstory for Salsa with about 20 to 30k words. 

I’ll look for beta readers after I finish writing something that I like. 

OH, AND DID I MENTION I ONLY HAVE A MONTH AND A HALF TO DO THIS???

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CHAT WITH ME!

What are your writing goals for this year? Have you ever let people beta read your books and how was the experience? What is your current WIP about, if you’re willing to share? DOES ANYONE WANT TO FLAIL WITH ME?

 

MY MIDDLE NAME IS UNDER CONTROL (+ OTHER LIES I TELL MYSELF)

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Ah, smell the fresh air and frozen icicles waiting to impale you as you walk outside of your house and the chirping of birds as they plummet from the sky because they froze to death.

Basically, here where I live (The U.S. OF A), it’s winter = freezing. Enough so to make you want to hibernate for the season and turn into a hermit because other humans want to force you to go outside. #A.K.A ME RIGHT NOW

It’s also 2018 and most people make ridiculous lists of things that they want to achieve. Do they really? Some do, and some fail epically. I’m sure you’re from the former.

However, these are my GOALS FOR 2018.

You might want to pack a bag full of food and the majority of your bookshelves and go hide in a dark cave somewhere while you’re still alive.

It’s gonna get crazy up in here.

 

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As you will soon learn, I am an overachiever who stresses herself out because she has no self control when it comes to aspirations.

Among those aspirations is my desire to live in a library when I grow up. Or, become one. Either way, it works brilliantly with what I have planned for my future.

Referring to the title, I have NOTHING under control as of right now. I’m a confused potato stumbling around in a state that resembles Antarctica and is trying to survive in a world that is burning down.

It’s a strange time to be alive, indeed. It’s really beautiful, actually, that we haven’t broken down and given up yet.


My 2018 Goals

  • Become a (good) book blogger. I am really excited to do this, actually, and I want to see where it takes me. I want to be consistent with my posts and produce hilarious content.

  • Win Camp NaNoWriMo April. I’m currently outlining and it’s going well (so far).

  • Take an insane amount of classes so I can graduate earlier. Yep, this is where you learn that I have no chill. I’m doing it, though. I hope things go well.

  • Read 120 books. Hehe, I’m already one book behind. I just finished my first book of 2018 and it was the Ms.Marvel comic featuring a Muslim character.

  • Take a chill pill. I want this to be the year that I take a deep breathe, smell the roses, and try not to stress about everything that ever existed. Yes, I’m being told that what I do now will greatly affect my future and blah blah blah, but I’m afraid if I go too hard at life right now, I’ll totally burn out.

  • Win Camp NaNoWriMo July.

  • Win NaNoWriMo 2018. Ahh, sleepless nights, here I come again.

  • Write the first real draft of The Scar Empire. (Or, maybe even several drafts???)

  • Write a contemporary featuring a Muslim teenager.

  • Try to do more IRL things. Such as becoming more fit, doing things that terrify and exhilarate me, and interacting with other humans. You can obviously tell which will be the hardest.

  • I’m participating in Beat The Backlist 2018 which is hosted by Novel Knight. This challenge is to read backlist books instead of just books released that year.

  • Save money for BookCon 2019. I wish I could go this year, but I’m broke. So, I’m planning to drag an adult into this with me because I need someone to go with me.


Hopefully, this year will be fantastic and full of delicious food and good people who will respect and love and defend one another. Ameen!

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CHAT WITH ME!

Any crazy awesome things you’re planning to do in 2018? ARE ANY OF YOU GOING TO BOOKCON? (and can you smuggle me in your suitcase?) I ONLY DEVOUR BOOKS, PEOPLE, TALK TO ME!! I’M NICE!! 

I NEARLY DIED OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION (a.k.a NaNoWriMo 2017)

I WON NANOWRIMO 2017!

Every idea and excerpt/snippet on this post is mine. Audacious and The Scar Empire © Han

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And, this review of it, and the previously failed Nano, was inspired by Ilsa@ awhisperofink.wordpress.com.  

Thanks, Ilsa!!


Okay, so I obviously had no clue what I was getting myself into, but I did it anyway.

I’ll start from the beginning. Get some food, sit down in a comfy chair and wrap your feet up in a blanket because you’re going to be here for a looooong time.

____________

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In November, 2016, when I was a wee sophomore in high school, my school library was hosting a NaNoWriMo classroom. Being the potato that I am, I decided to sign up and I was super excited to see how much I could write. I had heard of Nano before, but I had never participated.

I started about a week in after NaNo had begun and I wrote 2k before I stopped.

Why?

Because not only was my story not outlined, but I had decided to take Advanced Placement United States History and the coursework was insane in that class.

I was all like, “I’m a potato and I believe I can fly”. But, the textbooks were DEFINITELY not fun to devour and they nearly broke my beautiful, although fake, wings

I was sad about not winning but what was worse was that NO ONE ELSE IN MY SCHOOL HAD JOINED THE CLASSROOM. So, the librarian didn’t really have anyone who wanted to do it (except me) and she decided not to host it after all.

So, after failing Nano 2016 miserably, I was pumped up to at least attempt NaNoWriMo 2017. I began outlining my current story then and over the winter of 2016, it changed from a dystopian novel to a fantasy.

That was when I realized that I was writing THE WRONG GENRE and that was the reason I was so uninterested in my own story.

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Over the course of 2017, I continued outlining and outlining and outlining and my characters kept changing and doing stupid stuff, but I couldn’t quite get the plot figured out.

All summer long, I outlined my story with the assumption that I knew it was going in exactly the direction that I wanted it to go in.

Aaaaaand, then September  of 2017 came around. I had started my junior year in high school and I was looking through my email one day when I saw an email from the adult Nano website.

What did it say?? 60+ DAYS TILL NANOWRIMO STARTS!

And, over the course of the year I had slowly forgotten that I was even planning to do Nano so THIS WAS A HUGE  REMINDER OF MY DESTINY.

I immediately got SUPER EXCITED and proceeded to outline more fervently and taught my family the Nanowrimo cheer song that they were to use to cheer me on in November.

I know, I’m great. I’ll teach it to you soon as well.  🙂

So, on the 31st of October, the night before Nanowrimo started, I stayed up ALL NIGHT watching writing advice videos EVEN THOUGH I HAD SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY.


NaNoWriMo 2016

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This cover was made for me by a lovely person on Wattpad once upon a time ago.

Title: Audacious. Except I pronounced it Aud-dicious-us.

Light-bulb moment: I WANTED A MUSLIM FEMALE CHARACTER WHO KICKED MAJOR BUTT SO I DECIDED TO WRITE ONE. I mean, can you imagine Tris or June or Katniss in a hijab? YAAS!

Synopsis: (Don’t judge me. But, you’re allowed to laugh. I’m dying here myself.)

In a world where being calm, confined and quiet is the thing that can save your life and make you rich, being different is dangerous.

Wahuj is, truthfully, not your average Muslim girl. Ever since the world had changed into a more vile, violent and unpredictable place, the people have formed  two different groups and taken different sides. The *insert cool name* and the *insert another cool name*. Being controlled and forced to make choices she didn’t want to wasn’t exactly Wahuj’s dream when she was put in the *insert group name*

Wahuj wants change and freedom, now that the long awaited war has started between the two sides and she understands the risks she can put upon herself if she isn’t the same as everyone, but that’s the problem: she isn’t like everyone else.

 She is Audacious. 

It’s a rip-off of Divergent, basically. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Prologue (The Dystopian part)

Footsteps beat the ground as she ran, ran for the lives of both the child in her arms and herself. Rocks and thin leaves crippled and broke as she passed them, awaring her pursuers of her whereabouts.

She knew she had to hide the poor baby, for both her parents were dead and if she were to be found, she would be used for the worst.

A string of bullets attached themselves into the tree right in front of her, a couple more following behind. As she dodged and swerved out of the way, an arrow barely missing her head, she had an idea.

She paused, for about half a second, calculating the time it would take the ride to get there and then she leapt the moment a bullet aimed for her legs connected. Thankfully, the bullet passed under her, sticking to a tree and coming out from the other side.

A glow of color flowed beneath her and she rode on the hoverboard. She rapidly headed for her destination. Leaves and clouds of dirt rising from the ground rose to her hijab, sticking like super glue.

Finally, she reached her destination, jumping off the skateboard-like vehicle, her legs flying. She hurried over to the hideout and stuck the baby in there, getting ready to leap back on the hoverboard and take off for her own freedom.

As she ran quickly and quietly back towards the hoverboard, she didn’t see the blinking light that signaled the pulled trigger of a gun.

And just as she set her foot on the hoverboard, the bullet struck her, enveloping her in a sharp blanket of pain and then a soft darkness.

She let out one, short sentence as her head hit the ground.

La Ilaha IlAllah

There is no God but Allah

{reminder that I’m Muslim and it’s a representation of Muslim characters ♥}

__________________________________________________________

(The Fantasy part)

____________ {EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT NAMES AND SOMEONE DIED}

It was wrong, the sight of her blood sprayed on the snow, the red stark against the white of the snow. It was always him running around the palace gardens after Mother, cutting himself on rocks and taking wild trips. It was always him who bled, Nikita had always been the calm, serious, attentive, and well-mannered one. It wasn’t supposed to be her who was bleeding out underneath his hands. //tears//

{yes, I’m a heartless wench. If you want to know, I wasn’t really crying at all}

______________ {MY BRAIN IS WEIRD. UNNAMED CHARACTERS. BAD PUNCTUATION}

what happened to Nikita, Faina, and bae’s parents? uncle buttface had them killed right, don’t trust emmett, he has something to do with our parents death

____________ {ME @ ATTEMPTING HUMOR}

//heavy is the head that wears the crown//big is the head that the crown can’t fit on//

___________ { I’M A POET NOW. A POTATO POET}

//the stars are my compass, the ocean my home, my heart guided across the sea by the lanterns in the sky//

__________ {MY FIRST MENTION OF A HIJAB. ALSO, AWESOME FRIENDSHIP}

//I start running as I see my best friend, hands waving enthusiastically, the sand flying beneath my feet. We wrap our arms around each other.

“Oh Lord, it’s been so long since I’d seen you”. Nova pulls away, looking at my face. “You’ve barely changed!”.

I laugh, leading the way to the open gates beyond the beach. “I see you’ve started wearing the hijab now”, I say as I tug at the scarf covering her hair. //

_________ {HIJABI RESPONSE TO ACCIDENTALLY BEING SEEN WITHOUT HIJAB ON}

//I barely got a glimpse before she ran, her hair flying wildly behind her, her arms nothing of a fortress to cover her curls.

“Wait!” I yell, racing after her. She runs straight into the woods, her ground worn feet moving nimbly across the ground. I nearly get impaled by a tree branch as I attempt to follow her under a low tree.

________

THAT WAS FUN AND OBVIOUSLY, I AM BRILLIANT. A GENIUS IN THE MAKING.


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November 1st

  • I hit 1995 words and stopped because my brain was dead by that point.
  • Oh, and it took me all day just to get those words
  • And, I’m pretty sure that was because I was writing in a notebook due to having no access to a computer

November 2-3

  • Haha, look who got overwhelmed by school? Yeah, that’s right: ME!
  • I didn’t write any words on these days

November 4

  • AND, DESPITE ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR OF PLANNING, HAN DOESN’T HAVE A PLOT FOR HER STORY
  • And, I had to add up all the words I wrote MANUALLY and do math to figure out my word count for each day.
  • Yes, it was awful

November 5th

  • I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT THE HECK I AM WRITING AND I AM VERY BEHIND
  • But, at least I’m writing, right?

November 6th

  • DEAR OLD SCREWED ME, MY CLASSES ARE KILLING ME!
  • Also, I’m behind my 6k
  • DON’T ASK HOW

November 7

  • Praise be to God, WE GOT A COMPUTER!
  • In my notebook, I wrote 8k
  • On the website, now that I can finally use a keyboard, I’m at 3k
  • Ummm, and I’m supposed to be at 11667
  • I know it doesn’t look bad, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TYPE UP 8K FROM MY NOTEBOOK TO MY COMPUTER??
  • Ah-nah, ain’t nobody got time for that
  • And, really, I had zero time because of school and stuff so I wrote at night.

November 8

  • HEY, I hit 4673 words.
  • Also, I wrote for two days in a row
  • I’m supposed to be at 13333 words

November 9

  • I’M SUPPOSE TO BE AT 15000 words
  • But, I didn’t write anything

November 10

  • What I wrote: 8455 words
  • Goal: 16667 words
  • HAHAHA!

November 11

  • Suppose to be at 18333 words, but I wrote nothing, as usual

November 12

  • GUESS WHO STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AND WROTE ALMOST 5K!
  • Yeah, so I went from 8455 to 12238 in one night
  • GIVE ME CAKE! I DESERVE IT!
  • Actually, I had mint chocolate ice cream with Nutella, so I was good.
  • I added the words in my notebook and the words from the Nano website, I HIT 20K.

November 13

  • I passed out when I got home.
  • Also, you know how I said I hit 20k?? Well, that was literally me just writing and rewriting ONLY 3 CHAPTERS FOR 13 DAYS! I hadn’t even passed the beginning of my story.
  • I did, however, get to 14043, and if you add 8k, I was at 22043.
  • I WAS AHEAD!??!
  • Goal: 21667

November 14-17

  • Hahaha, I DIDN’T WRITE FOR 4 DAYS!

November 18

  • Total words: 18192 + 8k = 26192 words
  • Hey, I wrote 3856 words
  • Yeah, this was definitely another all nighter, for sure
  • Also, I’m suppose to be at 30k

November 19

  • 20937 + 8k = 28937 words

November 20

  • 24373 + 8k = 32373 words

November 21

  • 27333 + 8k = 35333 words

November 22

  • 29145 + 8k = 37145 words

November 23

  • 32286 words on the Nano website
  • I’m pretty I decided sometime around now that I wouldn’t add the notebook words and would just win Nano on the web words.
  • I might’ve been high on insanity

November 24

  • 34529 words

November 25

  • 40814 words
  • Two words: RED EYES
  • I wasn’t sleeping well at all
  • But, do I regret it? NOPE

November 26-27

  • 45033 words
  • I’m guessing school occurred to cause this
  • Also, I kept falling asleep at all times

November 28

  • 47067 words
  • SO, I’M AHEAD!!?!
  • Goal: 46667

November 29

  • I WON NANOWRIMO
  • I hit 50, 026 words
  • Then, I collapsed on my bed

November 30

  • Aaaaaand, I had an emotional breakdown
  • Oh, and also a full night of sleep, so that was fantastic and made me feel lots better

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ALSO, A SYNOPSIS FROM 2017 AND SOME SNIPPETS BECAUSE I LIKE TO LAUGH AT WHAT THE HECK I WROTE.

Trust me. It’ll be fun.

ALSO, EVERYTHING CHANGED AND THE KEYBOARD IS BURNING.

__________________

Title: The Scar Empire

_________ {Synopsis}

Tragedy leaves no survivors. At least not without scars that run deep

Kenova: The son of a magic black market drug lord

Salsa: A survivior of a arena searching for her brother

Neema: A soldier assigned to a dangerous mission

Omi: A rebel who reached his breaking point

With a war brewing, four teenagers are caught up in the midst of the fight for power between two great empires.


Snippets {BOTH TRAGIC AND TERRIFIC}

________ {NOTHING MAKES SENSE. JUST GO WITH IT.}

As the bear rose on its hind legs, it’s paws clawing at the air, it began to come alive. It’s snout turned in the air, twisting towards the left side of the tent, heading straight for the (blank) lord and instead of passing through the crowd like snowflakes do, leaving nothing but scattered stars in it’s path, it barreled through them, a real and dangerous thing, it’s mouth full of food. And, with a single gulp, it swallowed Mizkar Jafoor whole.

___________{SOMEONE POINTED OUT TO ME THAT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO BE STRAPPED TO A CHAIR AND STILL BE HANGING FROM THE CEILING. I WAS ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. THIS IS CLEAR PROOF I WROTE THIS DURING NANO}

If there is anything Kenova knew for sure, it was that he was screwed. He was tied to chair in a dimly lit room, his hands and feet chaffing, hanging from the ceiling.

____________ { OVERUSE OF THE WORD FIGURE}

Hauling daggers and rifles, they were circled around the figure, whose face was shielded by a thick Viskan cap, their figure lost inside baggy clothes. The figure was clearly an outsider. Because there was no way any Viskan could’ve been standing still when a row of flames ate up their arms.

__________ {SASSY OLD GRANDMA’S ARE THE BEST}

The older woman did not gasp when he walked in the house and collapsed against the sofa. She only turned her head, shaking it slightly as she called in the Ashki language,  “Salsa, the fool has come back again.

________ {I NEED TO WORK ON MY HUMOR SKILLS}

The older man nodded, “Yes, but the main headquarters informed us of Roki’s big mouth and how he revealed the initial plan”. Neema stiffled a giggle at how the man didn’t even seem to realize his own huge mouth.

__________ {I DO LOVE MY CHILDREN SO}

Kenova chuckled. “I’d like to point out that no-one here is entirely human”.

________


Five things I learned in NaNoWriMo 2016 + 2017

  1. I should never hold myself back from letting my ideas spiral out of control. It’s actually a good thing, sometimes. I would never have The Scar Empire if I hadn’t fallen off the path for Audacious.
  2. Writing is amazing and exhausting, both physically and mentally, and ABSOLUTELY EXHILARATING. But, it isn’t easy at all. It takes devotion and time and love.
  3. NaNoWriMo forums are beautiful things with the most AH-MAZING and encouraging people.
  4. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible. No matter how long my story ends up taking me before I’m at a place where I can say, “yes, this is what I love”, I’ll continue writing.
  5. I only seriously started writing when I wanted to represent Muslim characters in my books. I learned that I have a passion for wanting to create relate-able characters. #REPRESENTATIONMATTERS

Aesthetics ( from my pinterest character boards, but I used this to make the collage)

Lookatit

MY BABIES LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL ALL TOGETHER!


I’M PARTICIPATING IN CAMP NANO IN APRIL!!

Being the indecisive potato that I am, I haven’t yet decided if I’ll write a YA Contemporary featuring a Somali Muslim girl or if I’ll continue on with The Scar Empire.


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CHAT WITH ME

So, now I’m wondering if YOU participated in Nano? What did you write? Are planning on writing during Camp Nano in April? DO YOU WANT TO LEARN THE NANO CHEER?

In Which I Help You Write More (a.k.a Thursday Tales)

Pftt, what am I talking about? I can’t even help myself.

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As we can all agree, books are delicious and I have first-hand experience with this, being a person who obsessively devours them.

We want NEED those delicious books! And, we also want to be able to write delicious books as well.

And, here, my friends, is where I introduce to you my MAGNIFICENT idea.


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THURSDAY TALES

(in which you write fantastic things and bless the world with them through your blog)

I always love reading excerpts of stories, even if they’re never going to be published because the words bring pleasure to my eyes (being absolutely delectable and all). I sometimes read Excerpts From A Book I’ll Never Write that I find on Pinterest and start crying, because it’s like I’m looking at my future.

Ahem, I accidentally let a little vulnerability seek out. I’ll just push that back to wherever it came from.

However, I did find this glorious piece. It’s so nice and I love the meaning behind it.

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And once I discovered her, I lived for the moments PaperFury posted excerpts of her writing! And, now we’re getting a whole book! SOMEONE HOLD ME, PLEASE!!

*fangirl flail*

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In the last Thursday of every month, I will post a short story, a poem, ANYTHING BASICALLY, AS LONG AS IT IS WRITTEN DURING THAT MONTH.

I know you’re probably wondering what insane asylum I ended up escaping from, but that’s not something I’d ever reveal to you and also, I know we all have busy lives. I, myself, am currently a junior in high school, trying to get a job, trying to write a book, trying to consume all the pages I can reach, AND I MIGHT BE LOSING MY BEAUTIFUL MIND.

But, we won’t fuss about that.

I know how difficult it is to write when you are uninspired and by writing random ideas I have and revealing them to you, maybe I’ll be so embarrassed that I’ll go make my real writing project better.

AND MAYBE THIS CAN HELP YOU GUYS TOO! I mean, the more crazy writers we have uniting, the better, eh?

I invite you to join me for Thursday Tales by writing a short story, a paragraph, or even a single sentence and posting it on your blog.

This was, in fact, inspired by Top Ten Tuesday and I just wanted to change it up for writing.

If you want to join, just leave me a message below and I’ll add your name to the list.

I’ll be starting this January of 2018 and I’ll post my excerpt on the last Thursday of the month.

And, because I love to talk of my genius ideas (I HAVE A WHOLE CLOSET FULL OF THEM. Or their skeletons. Can’t really tell at the moment.), I’ll tell you the name of the excerpt I’ll be writing this month( however long it may be).

AND

THE

NAME

OF

MY

JANUARY

EXCERPT

WILL

BE

*DRUM ROLL, PLEASE*

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Handsome and The Heretic

I believe it’s a twist to the normal Beauty and The Beast that I came up with while washing the dishes, so this should be fun.

Dude, I just had another thought.

No, please, don’t hide. I’m not dangerous. Umm, only on every day of the week while the sun is up. I’m nice at night. I promise. I’m usually devouring food and books during the nighttime, so that might be it.

I really hope having a blog will help me write more. Because do you know how long it takes me to write up and edit every post??

SEVERAL HOURS, ok. I’ve been sitting here for 2 hours right now.

AND, I’VE NEVER FELT BETTER.

I really hope that one day I’ll be able to come up with ideas faster and watch them pour out of my fingertips. Especially ideas for first drafts or an entire series.


So, are you going to join me? LEAVE YOUR NAME AND BLOG (if you have one) DOWN BELOW SO I CAN ADD YOU TO A LIST(and stalk your blog, too) Did anyone realize the purple font I used?

 

 

5 WAYS TO READ MORE IN 2018

With every new year comes an ever-growing TBR and nothing brings more pleasure (and stress) for every booklover ever than to add more books.

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However, your Queen has come to your rescue. I, she who reigns the kingdom of books, shall give you tips for devouring that TBR this year.

Books are magic. Books are fun. And, most importantly, they are delicious to devour.

{why do I feel like a cannibal? I assure you guys that the only things I devour are books and, on the occasion when frustration strikes, homework. The latter tastes rather awful, though, so I’d advise only consuming pages of things that bring you happiness}


5 Ways To Read More Books In 2018

1. Set A Goal.

On January 1st, give yourself a set number of books you want to read by the end of 2018. Do an amount that seems logical to you, something you can reach. But, you can also challenge yourself and go outside your comfort zone.

Don’t just read one, read 6 or 20 or 100 or infinity. The amount of stress you want to cause yourself is up to you and only you’ll be to blame when your TBR grows too big.

But, don’t worry. I heard that people who read a lot have many lives and you’ll be fine if you get crushed to death by your TBR. It’s also good for the bones and brains or whatnot.

HINT, HINT! Take the Goodreads Reading Challenge and track yourself on there. Trust me, it’ll work. Or, so I say.

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2. Become A Hermit  Find Time To Read

Your TBR pile has good uses, besides making you question your sanity and magically growing on its own without your permission, because YOU CAN HIDE IN IT.

Build a book fort, I say, and hide from humans in there.

Growling and threatening to set anyone who comes too close on fire also works because nobody wants to come near the book hoarding dragon.

But, in all truthfulness, find time. When you’re waiting for your bus, when you walk into class but the teacher hasn’t started the lesson yet, and ANY OTHER TIME BECAUSE ALL THE TIMES ARE READ YOUR BOOK TIME.

You don’t have to become a hermit to find time to read. You just need to make time and use the spare seconds you have to consume more pages.

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3. Find Bookish Buddies

When you have someone to fangirl/fanboy with you, the results are beautiful. You’ll have people who know that the real reason you’re up at 2 in the morning isn’t really because of homework, people who will comfort you when your favorite character gets savagely murdered by the author, and who’ll understand when you’re incapable of forming coherent speech so you just flail and make a sound that’s a cross between a chicken that got run over with a car and a dinosaur that stubbed its toe.

AND, YOU’LL WANT TO READ MORE BOOKS WITH THAT PERSON/ THOSE PEOPLE.

AND, YOU’LL GIVE EACH OTHER MORE BOOKS TO READ BECAUSE YOU’LL CONSTANTLY WANT TO READ MORE TOGETHER.

The more people to drag into your bookish plans, the better. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. A library, however, can be dominated in a day. And, with that, you are on your way to ruling the world.

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4. Follow Book Bloggers and BookTubers

Getting involved in the reader community will reward you immensely. Not only will you get to test the limits of your TBR, but you’ll meet amazing people who adore books as you much or even more than you do.

YOU WILL NEVER BE AT LOSS WITH BOOKS TO READ! You’ll only hear about more and more books and thus, you will want to read more and more books.

From Book bloggers and Booktubers, you will get an unfathomable amount of books and you will be happy. BECAUSE BOOKS= HAPPINESS. #Logic, obviously.

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5. Read, Read, Read

Honestly, this is the best advice, though. All you have to do is read. Open that book, take a nice, long inhale, and proceed to move your eyes across the pages.

BOOKS ARE BEAUTIFUL! And, you, my friend, deserve to read them because their amazingness will seep into your brain and make you a more open-minded, intelligent, and overall awesome person. Not that you aren’t already.

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So, what books are you looking towards this year? Any other things you do to read more? WHAT GENRE OF BOOK ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO READING THIS YEAR? Leave a comment below 🙂